Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
