let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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