I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
