Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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