You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
