just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
