it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
