the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
