some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
