I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
