The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
