my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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