I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
