I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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