i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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