I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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