Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize