I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
