I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
