His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
