He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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