I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
