Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pants are for mortals
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
