so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
