I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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