Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
