Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
