Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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