two words: eviction party
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
