Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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