everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
