Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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