this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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