great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
