I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
