So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
