Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
