I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
