you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize