Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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