i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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