R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
