Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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