I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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