What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
