***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
