Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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