Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to

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(203): View more from Connecticut

you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small

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(704): View more from North Carolina

"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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(813): View more from Florida

Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.

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(510): View more from California

well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen

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(705): View more from Ontario

The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"

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(816): View more from Missouri

Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.

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