frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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