He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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