I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
