saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
