Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
