He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
