feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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