How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
