Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
