I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The Olympian is in my bed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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