Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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