How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
