why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
