It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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