Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Randomize
