You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
