You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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