Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
