Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Welp...herpes.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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