When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
