I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
