This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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