It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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