I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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