I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
