im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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