If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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