I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
