Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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